Becoming a Mother

Life is all about changes, growing, learning and keep moving forward. I am 28 years old married and have two gorgeous boys. One is almost three years and the other one is three months old.

Me and my husband have been together 10 years now. We practically grew up together. Before I met him, I didn't thought about marriage or kids. Even after I met him I didn't think about all those things. I am one of those who takes life as it comes and when I was 22 I was fully focused on my career. However, life is not about what you think it would be but what you make of it.

We got married in 2012 and had our first baby in 2014. Oh and before I had my own baby I was terrified of kids. It was amazing to see how life changes when you have this little person who relies on you for everything. You are his food, his comfort, his whole world. When I held him in my arms for the first time I knew I would be one of those mothers who would kick anyones a@$ if they try to hurt my baby. Yes I became a mumma bear.

All the emotions added to sleep deprivation usually takes overs a new mother's brain. At least I know it happened to me with both my babies. But I had different set of problems with both pregnancies.

Before my first baby was born I was working and out there in the community. But after he was born I was stuck in this space where I had to make a decision whether I go back to work or stay with him. After a lot of thought and getting no support at work I made a decision to be with my baby. Thanks to husband who supported my decision even though it was going to be hard financially.

It was a whole new world for me. In this world I don't have a job, I don't go out and I have a little person who relies on me. I missed work and it was hard for me to stay home because since I remember I never stayed at home. I was involved in one project or the other since I was a teenager. I was scared for so many reasons.

But one thing that kept me from loosing it is my husband. I focused all energy on my son and started enjoying every moment with him. I read this quote somewhere and it stuck with me "nothing is permanent, its a phase". It helped me realise that my son is not going to stay a baby forever. He will grow up and will not need me 24/7. So while I can enjoy all the little things he is doing I should make most it.

Now I have another baby and you would think it would be easy the second time. It's not easy you just get better at it. I still have moments where I loose it and want to go and hide somewhere. But then I pull myself together and think of taking one day at a time. If I can survive one day and give my 100% to it I am successful at whatever I am doing...

Becoming a mother has definitely taught me so much more about myself and my capabilities. It has opened this whole new world where I have learnt so many new things about myself. For me motherhood is a journey to finding myself again because it has opened this untapped side of me where I am still a child and learning with my kids.

#mother #baby #life #change #newzealand